newbie_ . love[ley]

I havent been on this thing for a while. got into it with mmy life_and felt i had to situate myself a little more before i started readin about everyone elses again. _smh. still stuck tho. me and my father dont get along. at all_i jus tolerate him. I think thats what everyoen does to this man._ my mom even admitted it. TOLERATE. y tho? is that what you do wen u can't control someone that you have to be around. _its not fair. but thats life...hense why i said i got into it with my life....and not "i got into it with my dad" .....even tho...thats wat happened.....

tears. tears. and more tears. "no one cares"....excpet my mom of course...i love her.

... well this was the morning of easter. like 1am-4am..... and then i went to sleep to wake up to appear happy at church...... _smh

so...i did so. i enjoyed my easter.......although i was super sleepy. _ didnt really have an "easter outfit planned" ....but i did like how the clothing came out to be....

TODAY: i found new love for two artist....and a pair of shoes.. _i must get

Janelle Monae: an artist i new i liked...jus never really took time for her ...until today.. _shes so beautiful and talented. i love her because, shes not scared to be different and shes so [young] . plz look into her if you already haven't.....

Big Sean: This artist just got signed by Kanye West....and his music is amazing. http://www.imeem.com/people/Ke1E72/playlist/afteokWJ/big-sean-mix-tape-music-playlist/ jus listen to him_and u'll know where im coming from. i needa meet him. [respects]

..... my shoes: i want some saddle shoes... _dont ask y..i jus doo... i been wanted them and couldnt figure otu what they were called to by them offline... _nwo i KNOW..saddle shoes... hmm

top model x 2...smh

so i wanna start this modeling thing already 

_building portfolio's...... excited. to start

im obsessed with the sight model mayhem.....[great for aspiring models. btw]

Now! remember in a previous blog i said how there would be another casting call in NEW YORK after the near death experience at the last one.?

well...its on saturday.. [no advance warnings] lol thank god i was searchin the web and found out by mistake... well hopefully this one ends up better than the last. [PLEASE TYRA] . 

ON THAT NOTE: im goin to the mall today do some shoppin =] with my cuz's cuz. lol...its gonna be us 3 plus a few this summer...jammin' cant wait. !.. SEE.C come the fuck home dayum. 

I MISS U GURL.

lectures_off

ok. so um...im tired of being compared to the world. cuz im not _the world....and i dont care to resemble every perfect person i come across.... all my parents do is pound on me about how much im not like _the other one. I DONT GIVE A FUCK.

was that too harsh? well_that still doesnt get my point across unfortunately....all i can do is wait for time to go by...and im finally out of this freakin house...again.
sometimes the best thing to do is remain silent "u have the right to remain silent everything you say or do will be used against you in the court of law" [somethin like that]. i mean...anything i say in my deffense ends up smacking me in the face..and im still wrong. _theres no point in arguing with the ones who birthed u.....cuz...they dont CARE about wat u have to say. lol even if u agree but use different wording "well you should have said it this way" ....shut the FUCK up.

_heyyy my name is shawntika i sniff coke and have 3 babies by 3 different men, neva got my GED. and prostitute my body to make a living......... [maybe they should experience that] .......

_hey my name is ashley marie..and i live ontop of a frieakin mountain stranded, phone stolen, 2broken cameras, no ipod, no job, and a compuuter that works wen it damn pleases FML... but no i dont "fuck my life" i still smile....why?! .....idk...but i hope it stays this way.

im currently finding myself.. _not saying i was lost before. but i want to find myself thru my own eyes and not those of my parents.....or others_ sometimes i feel like this world is just about acting and scripts....like everyone knows what to say and when to say it...and im always forgetting my "lines"...... did i miss the memo.? did god have a meeting and tell everyone how to make life perfect.....? idk...

to the left to the left...all ya funky words and ya points they cant step.

DizZyana MiXtape _ download now

ookk...soo new MiX TAPE:

DizZyana "no hooks"

http://www.mediafire.com/?m1mnojhzohdhzohd

Simply amazing. _i mean the nigga is lyrically gifted. I had to share this with my fellow bloggers! Download it now....for FREE [click above link]while you still can. Please dont wait till his album drop to be like "wait, i know that kid"... lol..... support. support. support. Listen to the first track [Intro] to learn more about my boy_.

Kids push packs get scratched they palms itchen
Moms at work and pop is gone missin
Forced to deal with the cold world no mittens
No hats_no scarves.
Niggas been to hell n back with no scars
-sweet

Ain’t no b*#&3 round here except you hoe
Space age pimpin my swag is on Pluto
And im superbad like the kid off juno
I am mc lovin_Getting shit faced wakeup remember nuthin
-special delivery

This is just the beginning of the album_ something light for ya'll to grasp onto until your downloads are complete and bumpin in ya stereos.

random reality_ [salt my fries]

ok_random blog

today i was eating these disgusting ffries from rcc_  >-p'

so u know wen u get those tasteless fries....and u decide to throw a million packets of salt on the to excuse the cold staleness.....  [eww] 

_i hate that the salt just slide the fuck off....lol...and ends up in the bottom of ur container or plate wtf! soo your pouring all this salt...to still end up with tasteless stale cold school fries. 

and picking up each fry careful enough to keep any type of salt that decided to stay on ur fry... lol.. [dont tip it too slanted...cuz u know whats gonna happen] 

 

_"for some" you attempt to dip it in ketchup...for more flavor.... [shit still taste disgusting tho]

so recently ive jus decided to either put the ketchup on_ and then the salt....jus so i know the salt can stick...._ orrr pour the salt in the ketchup and mix it in...and jus dip my fries in....

_why cant people jus season their damn food wen they cookin it..... is it so eff.n hard.

BIRTHDAY TO MY CUZ_GYPSY

                     

happy ;grown_ day GYPSY[TM] ILUSM!!!!!!!

YES.IM IN A TOWEL. FRESH OUT THE SHOWER _ OWWW

intoxicated love_

the love we share is so divine so sweet and pure _everytime you talk to me i squinch my thighs and close my eyes. i can feel ur words crawl deep within this spine of mine.

your mine. this love is ours. I know because you look at me with your heart _knocking thru your caged chest into my soul down to my inner most being... feelin warm and secure. climaxed and want more. mmmmmm. squirming on the bathroom floor.

i wake up every morning smiling_feeling complete and discrete. our little secret. _iknow the rarity of this feeling so i respect ur love with clarity. marry me._i know they said we move to fast_ speedily u needed me. i came with all i got. time was not the essence. this presense of mine.

your mine. i was enough for you . thats wat u said. that night on that floor...that bathroom floor. it became repetition _more...and more_ and more...... no changes occur. but it feels so good cuz i know i love you_right? dont i. what we shared was no longer pure and strong but sexually wrong.

weak_ you words made me weak. the words u told me grabbed my heart and made me squirm no longer standing on my feet. laying on this bathroom floor was my cushion as i felt hard feeling sore. im intoxicated with this emotion_ unkown. unfamiliar. some magic potion. paralyzed this body of mine.

it was mine. but not anymore. my mind and soul scream for help. but my body. my body and heart_ belongs to you. i want you. you feel so good my insides melt. knowing your nuthing ive ever felt. & my heart. this heart of mine knows no better. only the feeling of magic you fed her. _me..this heart of mine.

it is mine. the beating of my heart speeds up everytime i see u pass by. almost like a lonely cry._but i cant. and i wont. a tingling feeling of lust provoked. emotions in my mind trapped with no words....... so i pick up my pen_and wrote.



inspired by:

so my cousin put a picture on her blog:
http://jeanstootight.blogspot.com/
that jus grabbed me in. ....a peaceful love like no other. is this possible _or dont even bother? sometimes our heart and body make decisions for us when it comes to love_which is why they say "love is blind". wen can two people just find each other with no strings attached and be happy?. is it that hard to find this in life_isnt that called finding your "soul mate"....idk tell me wat you think